Who rebuilds the lives of those caring for the injured?

In a new film for the Association of Personal Injury Lawyers’ (APIL) Rebuilding Shattered Lives campaign, Chris describes how a serious accident at work changed life for his whole family. His wife found herself caring for him whilst helping their two children make sense of what had happened to their dad.

His injury was the beginning of a very different life for all four of them.

Throughout my career, I’ve represented people whose lives have been transformed by serious injury. What often stays with me is what happens to those closest to them. A husband or wife becomes a carer, sometimes overnight. Plans made together have to change. One person’s injury can alter the whole family’s future.

We rightly put enormous effort into helping injured people rebuild their lives. However, we must not lose sight of the people helping them.

Most families don’t sit down and decide that someone will become a carer. They do what’s needed, because someone they love needs help.

At first, there’s scarcely time to think beyond the next hospital visit or decision about treatment. Meanwhile, children still need collecting from school, bills still arrive and employers want to know when someone will be back at work.

Then the weeks become months, and what seemed temporary becomes part of everyday life.

A partner who intended to return to work might find that’s no longer possible. Friendships drift, and even going out for a couple of hours can involve arranging cover.

Relationships change too. A wife who once shared everyday responsibilities with her husband may now help him wash, dress and manage the most private parts of his day. Neither expected that.

Relatives often want to provide care, and there can be love and satisfaction in doing so. However, that doesn’t mean it’s easy, or that they should have to manage without a break. It can be remarkably difficult to admit you’re struggling when the person you love has been through so much.

When someone suffers a serious injury, the help provided by relatives can be considerable. It might involve washing, dressing, preparing meals, attending medical appointments or simply making sure the injured person is safe.

Much of this care is given freely, without anyone thinking about its financial value. Yet if a husband or wife wasn’t providing that help, someone else might have to be employed to do it.

Where an injury has been caused by someone else’s negligence, the additional care provided by family members can form part of a compensation claim. Lawyers call this gratuitous care. Although relatives aren’t charging for their time, the law recognises that their help has a value.

You can read more about this in our guide to compensation for unpaid care from family and friends after an injury.

However, putting a financial value on someone’s care is only part of the picture.

We might know exactly how many hours a wife spends looking after her husband. But do we know whether she’s sleeping properly? Whether she misses her job or has stopped seeing friends? Whether she’s frightened about what will happen when she can no longer manage?

Those are things that don’t always come to light when we’re calculating how much care someone needs.

I’ve met relatives determined to do everything themselves. Some feel nobody else could look after their loved one properly. Others worry that accepting help would mean they’d failed them.

I understand those feelings. It takes time to trust someone else with care that has become such a personal part of family life.

Bringing in professional carers doesn’t mean relatives have to stop caring. It can give them the freedom to spend more time simply being a partner or parent, rather than having to provide so much of the day-to-day care themselves.

For a husband and wife, it might mean enjoying an evening together as a couple. For parents looking after an injured child, perhaps a weekend away. Sometimes it’s simply being able to leave the house for a few hours without worrying.

There’s no single arrangement that suits everyone. Some relatives want to remain closely involved; others need more support. Their wishes, and those of the injured person, can change.

An arrangement that feels manageable at 45 may be very different at 65. It’s important to think about that before a family reaches breaking point.

When someone’s been looking after their husband, wife or child for years, it’s easy to assume they’re happy to carry on. Yet the fact that someone is coping doesn’t necessarily mean they’re coping well, or that they want to continue indefinitely.

Sometimes asking how things are at home, and allowing someone time to answer properly, can tell us far more than another discussion about care hours.

Helping families adjust after serious injury often involves several professionals working together, including solicitors, case managers and rehabilitation specialists. It’s an important part of our Team Around the Client approach.

Where someone has been injured through negligence, compensation can help meet the reasonable cost of the care they need, both now and in the future. These costs can form part of the future financial losses included in a personal injury claim. This can give families the option of bringing in professional carers rather than having to manage everything themselves.

I always encourage relatives to tell us how they’re managing, even if they feel they’re coping well. Things can change over time, and it’s important we understand what caring for someone means for their own lives too.

The injured person’s wishes and independence must remain central. However, their needs and those of their relatives aren’t necessarily in conflict. Most people don’t want someone they love to spend the rest of their life exhausted and worrying about them.

What I find particularly encouraging about Chris’s story is that, with the right help, he and his family have been able to start rebuilding their lives.

It’s a reminder of why APIL’s Rebuilding Shattered Lives campaign matters. The campaign tells the stories of people whose lives have been changed by injuries caused through negligence and shows what proper compensation and rehabilitation can mean for them.

Compensation can pay for rehabilitation, professional care, equipment and an adapted home. It can help an injured person regain independence while giving their family some much-needed breathing space.

That is a world away from the suggestion that compensation is some sort of windfall.

When I think about a good outcome for a seriously injured client, I think about more than the practical arrangements. I think about whether their partner might be able to return to work, whether their children can enjoy family life again and whether they can all start making plans for the future.

Because sometimes, the people helping to rebuild a shattered life need a little help rebuilding their own.