How to best prepare for Mother’s Day if you’re grieving

While Mother’s Day is a celebratory time for many, we know it can be particularly painful for others, especially when so many have lost loved ones during the pandemic.

It can be easy to forget that there are many people all over the world who will find Mother’s Day particularly distressing, including those whose child or mother has died.

These are our tops for managing Mother’s Day, or for supporting someone else to:

• If you know someone who might be suffering this Mother’s Day, reach out to them and let them know they are in your thoughts. Even a small gesture will go a very long way.
• Stepping away from social media can be a very good idea. It can be difficult seeing others posting pictures and posts about their mothers and children, particularly on the day itself.
• Many companies now offer an option for existing subscribers, where they will write in advance of the day to allow you to opt-out of receiving Mother’s Day related marketing. Similar services are offered in relation to Father’s Day and other baby related advertising.
• Take care of yourself. Don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to.
• On the day itself you might choose to do something to honour their memory. You could do this by sharing happy memories of them between family and friends, or lighting a candle.
• Alternatively, you could spend the day with family, go for a walk in the countryside, cuddle up on the sofa with your favourite book or take yourself on a day trip for a change of scene.
• For some, letter writing is a really useful way to deal with emotions. Writing a card to a loved one that has passed away is a great way to release some emotion and make sense of your thoughts and feelings.
• Contact a support group / charity who can offer more advice and put you in touch with others in the same situation.

Organisations that can help

There are lots of organisations and charities that are here to support you through a difficult time. Please see a list of charities below and options to get in touch if you are struggling, or even if you just wanted to talk to somebody:

Cruse Bereavement Support

Cruse is a national charity dedicated to helping those who are grieving the loss of a loved one. They have lots of information online as well as a helpline with expert grief counsellors to support you. They are dedicated to giving support to those suffering the loss of a mother or a child ahead of Mother’s Day this year.

• Talk to an expert at Cruse via their helpline on 0808 808 1677.
• Contact them via CruseChat on their website: https://www.cruse.org.uk/
• Twitter: @crusecare

Winston’s Wish

Winston’s Wish is a national charity which specialises in supporting bereaved children and their families. They advocate giving hope to grieving children.

They have a wealth of resources on their website, resources for speaking to children about death and a helpline.

• Helpline: 0808 802 0021
• Website: winstonswish.org
• Twitter: @winstonswish

Care for the Family

This organisation is a national charity which has sought to promote strong family life and to help those who face family difficulties, since 1988. Their aim is to be accessible to every family, whatever their circumstances and to create resources and support that are preventative, evidence-based, and easy to apply. They want to help those who are living with loss to discover hope for the future, and the strength to rebuild their lives and the lives of their families.

• Telephone: 029 2081 0800
• Link to their website: https://www.careforthefamily.org.uk/
• Twitter: @Care4theFamily

The Compassionate Friends

The Compassionate Friends is a charity made up of bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents dedicated to the support and care of other similarly bereaved family members who have suffered the death of a child or children of any age and from any cause. They offer support, both directly to bereaved families (through guidance, support groups and events), and indirectly by fostering understanding and good practice amongst professionals concerned with child death and by increasing public awareness.

• Telephone: 0345 123 2304
• Link to their website: https://www.tcf.org.uk
• Twitter: @TCFcharityUK

Bereavement UK

This organisation was created over 20 years ago to provide much needed support wherever in the world you may be. The members can offer a listening ear, friendly support and advice on those lonely days and nights. The Bereavement UK support forum is a live chat room where people have been through similar losses as you. There are no professionals, just ordinary people who will be using their own experiences to support and guide you through the grief, pain, anger and loneliness you may be feeling.

There is also a very successful Facebook group used to give and receive heartfelt support from over 3000 members. They also plan lots of ‘mini meet ups’ all over the country where forum members make lifelong friends with people who are experiencing similar emotions.

• Link to their website: http://www.bereavementuk.co.uk/
• Link to their Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1566851883557388/

The Good Grief Trust

The Good Grief Trust is an organisation run by the bereaved for the bereaved. Currently The Good Grief Trust have approximately 800 support services and support organisations, groups and services offering tailored help for any bereavement, anywhere in the UK. Their website contains resources and videos from people who have been through similar experiences, to encourage people to talk about bereavement and understand that they are not alone. They have been running pop-up cafés since 2019 to offer a friendly place out in the community to pop along and find others who may have been through a similar bereavement. You can find out where these pop-up cafés are on their website.

• Email: [email protected]
• Link to their website: https://www.thegoodgrieftrust.org/
• Twitter: @goodgrieftrust

Jessie May

Jessie May Children’s Hospice at Home is an organisation that provides families with vital emotional support, end of life care and bereavement support for up to five years after losing a child. This allows families to make the most of the precious time they have together and to create treasured family memories. Their specialist nurses provide at home nursing and respite care for children and young people that have a terminal or life-limiting condition throughout the South-West. They have been providing free specialist support since 1996; it was created by a family, for families, and is now shaped by families. Over the last 25 years the charity has supported over 300 children and their families across Bristol, South Gloucestershire, North Somerset, Bath & North-East Somerset, and Swindon & Wiltshire.

• Telephone: 0117 958 2174
• Link to their website: https://www.jessiemay.org.uk/
• Twitter: @jessiemaytrust